Wellness with Makalah

Alrighty to my 3-4 regularly reading folks (I know there are more but I like to act as if only a few of you are reading my tangential nonsense), we have nearly made it to what I like to call the “sit back, relax, and reminisce” point of the year.

2024 came and went and it’s time to reflect. This year was interesting, but not one I am going to shy away from discussing. We’re going to get vulnerable because you only learn from your mistakes if you admit them. I am going to list a few of the mistakes I believe I made in the year of 2024.

Each one leading to a new lesson that, well, I look at now as mainly a lesson.

• Mistake 1: thinking I am not who I am.
• Mistake 2: not trusting my gut.
• Mistake 3: forgetting/choosing to ignore my natural capabilities.
• Mistake 4: not finding the joy in the mundane.

Each of these mistakes reminded me of one thing – security in myself. This was a huge year in which I learned and was reminded of the importance in being secure in who you are. Knowing what you want, where you want to go, how you are going to get there… all difficult things to tackle, but all things you MUST tackle. Starting a business is not for the weak, especially if you do not have a large savings to fall back on. Luckily I was living with my sister and had means to make it through, but it was not pretty. Each week felt like an uphill climb, and some days it still does, as growing a business is not all rainbows and butterflies. However, eventually, if the work you are doing is the RIGHT work, it will feel like sunshine. And the rays will continue to shine on you as time continues to pass. The never ending days will come to a close and you will find a routine that falls into place exactly as it should.

You will know the ins and outs because you have taught them to yourself. You will succeed because you and your business partner have spent hundreds of hours ensuring so. You will feel supported and you will trust in those around you, because that is how it is MEANT to be. You will have built something that can withstand the test of time because it has turned out to be a darn good something! Only one year…. and look at where we are. Flourish counseling was merely a concept one year ago, and now…. the small private practice centered in Indiana has 10+ employees and is doing as well as anyone could have hoped. We see a patient in nearly every county, and have providers in multiple states. The work is tiring, but the people, and the way we are doing things… it feels…. special. The world has shown me that if you do things the right way, things can only turn out right for you. No loopholes, no shortcuts, nothing but honesty, integrity, and cold hard grit.

My year was defined by those words alone. Honesty with myself, integrity in my profession, and grit in every single area it was needed.

Being honest with myself took a toll. I have my own therapist again (hallelujah and shoutout her for being the real deal!). I realized that I could not stay in a relationship not meant for me, and regardless of my anxious attachment style and inherent ability to never let things go, I must do things I do not want to do.

It meant pain was back (bleh who wants that?!), and hurting someone never feels fun. I hadn’t adored anyone for nearly 3 years, and when it has been that long, a part of you wonders if you will ever have the capacity to feel strongly about anyone again. Isn’t it so strange how our brain tricks us into thinking we are not capable? I realized that I am sooooo very capable of caring for someone, and receiving care back, but it must be the right one. Is it possible to know the right one without giving anyone a chance? No, so that is what I did – I gave someone a chance. And I will give others them, too! That’s what your 20s are. Giving chances and learning if they are correct, and if not, learning again why they were not. What a concept!

Each time I experience a new relationship I focus on trying to take something out of it (personal, professional, any type of relationship!). A way of seeing the world, a way of recognizing my needs… something changes. And from the relationship/period in my life this year in which I embarked on one, I learned that I am exactly who I have always known I am. I am kind hearted, an open communicator, understanding, and willing to adapt, while also anxious, stubborn, silly, and an energetic ball of fire. I learned that I must be with someone who is patient, and above all, warm. Warmth in both spirit and soul. Emotionally adaptable and curious. Someone I believe and know is out there, because if I exist, I know they do, too! And if we learned anything from 2020 it is that we don’t settle for less around here do we 🙂 Aren’t we grateful for learning?

So, it was the year of building a business and traveling the world and breaking up and moving into my own place and getting all of my things out of storage and joining a few new volleyball leagues and buying a couch and getting a therapist! Healing and evolving and changing in the midst of it all. LIFE… IT ALL DESERVES TO BE CELEBRATED because it all is a part of my 26th year. The gruesome uphill climb of 2024. To take pride in the lesson because all. of. it. matters. It ALL matters!!!

I get to go to breakfast with my grandma and see my sister have her child AND go to different countries and now, that is a life I adore. To see my friends and give hugs to those I only get to catch up when adulting allows us to. To love and be loved. It is simply such a gift. Enjoying this time alone because it may be the last time I get it, ya know?!

Currently having a dreamy sunday…. To lay in my bed, listen to jazz music, face mask on, have fresh baked cookies coming out of the oven, favorite candles lit, Dansby on my feet while I blog, prepping a bath after I finish…. there will be a time that I can only envy the peace and quiet I am currently experiencing. The inner girl in me gives herself the safety she has always longed for, and she finds it right within herself. how gnarly is that. To find a space so comfortable and lovely that you just want to lay in it with your dog…. it really is the little things as you age. the comfort of a warm home, clean and safe home is… unmatched!!!

“it really is that simple” i scream from the rooftops!!!

I hope 2025 brings the warmest of years, but if it does not, I am quite grateful to be who I am. to get to love who I love. to get to live the life I live. it all serves as a lesson, and if you are a naturally good human, good things are destined to come to you. my reminder to myself to be patient, love often and love kindly, but most importantly, to just be me. I have never loved me more, and I hope me reading this back knows to give herself a hug, go to yoga, and take dansby on a walk. call a friend then paint. do something, you are so loved!

xoxo, makalah marie ❤

ps – 2023 and 2024 brought some rain. 2025 is the year of sunshine coming in. manifesting good health – dansby and i are READY for ya!!!! ❤ with love from the fort, my sept-dec scrapbook chronicles below!